Good corny jokes are hard to find, given that these cheesy jokes are pretty much designed to be, well, stupid. But, with the right delivery, a corny joke can make anyone crack up and actually be funny.
Any true comedian will tell you that there is an art to telling jokes. Between the setup, the build, and the punchline, pulling together a quip that is both engaging and funny can be hard to pull off. Luckily, when it comes to corny jokes, the pressure is less.
Yep, we’ve gathered up the corniest, funniest bon mots you’ll find anywhere, and there are enough here to take your whole family. Memorize a few and then after you’ve shared them with the kids, your extended family, friends, and even co-workers, come back to our list for even more.
1. What do you call phony spaghetti?
An im-pasta.
2.Why shouldn’t you write with a broken pencil?
Because it’s pointless
3.How do you make an egg roll?
You push it!
4.What would bears be without bees?
Ears.
5.Why do cows wear bells?
Because their horns don’t work.
6.What do you call a pile of cats?
A meow-ntain.
7.Why did the bicycle fall over?
Because it was two tired.
8.What did the triangle say to the circle?
You’re pointless.
9.RIP, boiling water.
You will be mist.
10.Time flies like an arrow.
Fruit flies like a banana.
11.Why was Cinderella so bad at soccer?
She kept running away from the ball!
12.What do lawyers wear to court?
Lawsuits.
13.What do elves learn in school?
The elf-abet.
14.What did one toilet say to another?
You look flushed.
15.What lights up a soccer stadium?
A soccer match.
16.What do sprinters eat before they race?
Nothing. They fast.
17.What’s the difference between a poorly dressed-man on a tricycle and a well-dressed man on a bicycle?
Attire.
18.What’s red and bad for your teeth?
A brick.
19.What do you call a fish without an eye?
Fsh.
20. Why was the fish’s grades bad?
They were below sea level.
21.Why shouldn’t you use a broken pencil?
Because it’s pointless.
22.What do you call a pig that practices karate?
A pork chop.
23.What has four wheels and flies?
A garbage truck!
24.Why can’t you trust the king of the jungle?
Because he’s always lion.
25.What did the tomato say to the other tomato during a race?
Ketchup.
26.What do you call a sad strawberry?
A blueberry!
27.Why shouldn’t you write with a broken pen?
Because it’s pointless.
28.What did one wall say to the other?
“I’ll meet you at the corner.”
29.What do sea monsters eat?
Fish and ships.
30.How do you organize a space party?
You planet.
31.What do clouds wear under their shorts?
Thunder pants!
32.Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
If they flew over the bay, they would be bagels.
33.What do cows read the most?
Cattle-logs.
34.I lost an electron.
You really have to keep an ion them!
35.How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?
Ten-tickles.
36.What did 0 say to 8?
“Nice belt.”
37.Why do mushrooms get invited to all the parties?
Because they are such fungus.
38.What did the lettuce say to the celery?
Quit stalking me!
39.What’s small and red and has a rough voice?
A hoarse radish!
30.Why shouldn’t you tell secrets in a cornfield?
Too many ears.
31.Why couldn’t the bad sailor learn the alphabet?
Because he always got lost at “C.”
32.What kind of cheese isn’t yours?
Nacho cheese.
33.What does a spy do when he is cold?
He goes undercover.
34.Why did the scarecrow win an award?
Because he was outstanding in his field.
35.How does the moon cut his hair?
Eclipse it.
36.When do computers overheat?
When they need to vent.
37.If athletes get athlete’s foot, what do elves get?
Mistle-toes.
38.What’s brown and sticky?
A stick.
39.What do you call a sad cup of coffee?
Depresso.
40.How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?
He gave her a ring.
41.Did you hear the rumor about butter?
Well, I’m not going to go spreading it!
42.What happens when a snowman throws a tantrum?
He has a meltdown.
43.What do you get when you cross a fish and an elephant?
Swimming trunks.
44.What goes up and down but doesn’t move?
Stairs.
45.What did the worker at the rubber band factory say when he was fired?
Oh snap.
46.Why did the cookie go to the hospital?
Because he felt crumby.
47.What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?
Supplies!
48.Why can’t a nose be 12 inches long?
Because then it would be a foot.
49.Why did the belt go to jail?
Because it held up a pair of pants.
50.Where does the general put his armies?
In his sleeves.
51.What did the yoga instructor say when her landlord tried to evict her?
Namaste.
52.What do you call a magician that looses his magic?
Ian.
53.Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants?
In case he got a hole in one.
54.What did the football coach say to the broken vending machine?
Give me my quarterback.
55.What do you call a sleeping dinosaur?
A dino-snore.
56.Why did the kid stock up on yeast?
He wanted to make some dough.
57.Why are elephants wrinkly?
Because you can’t iron them.
58.What did the cake say to the fork?
You want a piece of me?
59.How did the two cats end their fight?
They hissed and made up.
60.Why did the strawberry cry?
He found himself in a jam.
61.What’s black and white and read all over?
A newspaper!
62.How did the barber win the race?
He knew a shortcut!
63.What did 50 Cent do when he was hungry?
58!
64.What did the nut say to the other nut in a game of tag?
Imma cashew!
65.Why did an old man fall in a well?
Because he couldn’t see that well!
66.What do you call a hippie’s wife?
Mississippi.
67.Why is Peter Pan always flying?
Because he Neverlands.
68.Why don’t astronomers like Orion’s Belt?
It’s a big waist of space.
69.How do you tell the difference between a bull and a cow?
It is either one or the udder!
70.What did one plate say to the other?
Dinner is on me!
71.Why do hummingbirds hum?
Because they don’t know the words!
72.Why do cows have hooves and not feet?
They lactose.
73.What do you call a bear with no teeth?
A gummy bear!
74.Why are spiders so smart?
They can see everything on the WEB
75.How do you make a water bed bouncier?
Add spring water.
76.What kind of car does an egg drive?
A yolkswagen.
77.When does a duck wake up?
At the quack of dawn!
78.What kind of tea is hard to swallow?
Reality!
79.Why wouldn’t the shrimp share his treasure?
He was a little shellfish!
80.Did you hear about the sensitive burglar?
He takes things personally!
81.What does a baby computer call his father?
Data!
82.What do you get from a pampered cow?
Spoiled milk!
83.Why was the bee’s hair always sticky?
He used a honeycomb.